“Look at me, I’m imported!”

“Look at me, I’m imported!”

That’s what they want you to think, that imported beers are somehow more superior to U.S. micro brewed or craft brewed beers. Many imported beers have achieved some level of notoriety, that their mass output is somehow viewed that they must be good beers. The truth is, they’re not.

So I challenged three highly successful imported beers, Corona, Newcastle and Heineken, to a test, comparing the taste of the beer to something else.

The first was Corona. I decided to pour myself a glass of my own urine and see if Corona tasted any better. Much to my surprise, they tasted almost exactly the same. Which led me to wonder, should I just bottle my own urine? That may be illegal…

Next was the Newcastle. When wondering what to taste this ale against, my dish washer was running. So, I decided to stop the dish washer mid cycle, scoop a cup of the dirty dishwater and give it a whirl. I wasn’t that bad. Either was the Newcastle. Comparably, about the same satisfaction level. But the dirty dishwater did have one advantage, different flavors or even chunks of last nights dinner.

Last, and definitely least, was the Heineken. I decided to ring out a crappy, pissy diaper from my 8 month old into a glass to test the Heineken against. It was truly repulsive. Then came the Heineken. Upon consumption, I grabbed the glass of diaper strained fluid and used it as a chaser to get the taste of the Heineken out of my mouth. Let go of my Heine…more like Came from my Heine.

Like many of the macro brewed lagers in the U.S. (you know who these piss water breweries are), I often wonder if some of these imported beers sacrificed the original recipe, ingredients and flavor of their beers to increase output and revenues. I would have loved to try the first batch of many beers to see what the difference is between then and now.

I know this is only one man’s opinion. Many people think that Pabst Blue Ribbon is the greatest beer ever; it all comes down to the sophistication of the pallet. Many of you may even like the above mentioned imported beers; I just enjoy a craft beer much better. So next time you’re at the store, make a change and pick up a micro brewed or craft brewed beer. More than likely, it will be a vastly superior beer. Plus, you’ll be supporting a much smaller brewery.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think of imported beers and what your favorite beer is.